Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Drunk is not a location!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
