took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
