If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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