I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
