i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
