I'm going to jail i love you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
