I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
