Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize