she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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