Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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