I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
