I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
