Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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