I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
