its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
