Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
