Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
