I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
