I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
