idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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