you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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