My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
