thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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