I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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