What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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