She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
