So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
