Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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