so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
