And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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