i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
