Have you finally orgasmed yet?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
