someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
