i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
