garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
