Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wear drunk well.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
