that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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