I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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