is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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