gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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