so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
