An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize