Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
