Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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