i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
