What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize