I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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