Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
