Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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