Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
