My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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