i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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