I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
