just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
