I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would ride that face into the sunset
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
